“Yes, Obama duped young people by not doing every single thing they want. So now, they’ll all vote Republican. It’s like when I want some bread, I won’t settle for half a loaf. Instead, I will have a muffin made of broken glass.”—Stephen Colbert (via kingslayer-)
“Turning the other cheek turns out to have selfish advantages. Someone who does you an injury hurts you twice: first by the injury itself, and second by taking up your time afterward thinking about it. If you learn to ignore injuries you can at least avoid the second half. I’ve found I can to some extent avoid thinking about nasty things people have done to me by telling myself: this doesn’t deserve space in my head. I’m always delighted to find I’ve forgotten the details of disputes, because that means I hadn’t been thinking about them.”—The Top Idea in Your Mind (via redcloud)
YOU ASSHOLES WILL NOT PAY ONE DROP OF ATTENTION THE FAIL MOTHERFUCKING POURING OUT OF YOUR OFFICES ON A REGULAR BASIS, BUT SOMEONE SUGGESTS YOUR JOBS MIGHT GET A LITTLE COMPLICATED AND YOU SPAM THE DASH WITH YOUR BLACK BAR AUTO-REDIRECT YOU CAN’T TRUST US WITH DICK BUT PUT YOUR INFORMATION HERE WE WON’T SHARE IT PINKY SWEAR!! GARBAGE.